Life can feel overwhelming sometimes. Between work, family, and everything in between, it's easy to feel like you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of stress and responsibility. And if we’re being honest, it's not just the tasks that wear you down—it’s the sense that life is happening to you, instead of being something you shape and control.

But here's the thing: you actually have more power over your life than you realize. You can either decide to create the life you want, or you can let circumstances make you feel like a victim, always reacting and trying to keep up. The good news? You can step into the role of creator, and it doesn’t have to be as hard as it seems.

Being the creator of your life doesn’t mean you have to avoid difficulties. Even the most successful people face tragedy and hardship. Take Katie Couric, for example. She lost her husband to colon cancer at a young age, but instead of letting that define her, she turned her pain into advocacy, raising awareness and fighting for early detection. It’s a reminder that we all face challenges—what matters is how we respond to them.

Or think about someone like Holly Robinson Peete. While building her acting career and later becoming an advocate, she has been open about the challenges of raising a son with autism. She didn’t let the difficulties of balancing her career and family stop her; instead, she founded the HollyRod Foundation to help families dealing with similar struggles. She turned her challenges into something that could help others.

And then there’s someone like Viola Davis. Growing up in extreme poverty, she faced hunger and abuse, but she used her strength and determination to rise to become one of the most respected actors of our time. Today, she speaks openly about overcoming trauma and using her platform to inspire others.

On the flip side, when you feel like a victim of your circumstances, it’s easy to get stuck in a mindset where you believe things will never change. That’s when you feel powerless, like no matter what you do, you’re always one step behind. But the truth is, staying in that space won’t help you build resilience or move forward.

So, how do you shift from feeling like life is happening to you, to being the person who makes life happen? How do you become the creator, even when the world feels chaotic? It starts with building resilience—and I’ve got some unique, practical exercises to help you do just that.

1. The Reverse Goal-Setting Method

Most people set goals the wrong way. They think about what they want and then try to figure out how to get there. But here’s the twist: Start with the end in mind. I call it the Reverse Goal-Setting Method, and it’s a game-changer for resilience.

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Visualize yourself in your ideal life one year from now. Imagine it in detail—how you feel, what your daily routine looks like, the successes you've achieved.

Step 2: Instead of setting typical “to-do” goals, write down the feelings you want to experience. For example, you might write down: “I feel energized and balanced every day,” or “I feel confident in my ability to say no.”

Step 3: Work backward. What needs to happen for you to feel that way? Maybe it’s setting stronger boundaries or delegating more tasks.

Why it works: By focusing on the feelings and experiences you want, you’re rewiring your brain to seek out solutions that align with what truly matters to you, rather than just adding more tasks to your plate. This method builds emotional resilience by keeping you connected to why you’re doing what you’re doing.

2. Resilience Inventory

You’ve probably heard of gratitude journals, right? Well, this takes that to a new level. Every night, write down three things you handled well that day. They don’t have to be huge—maybe you stayed calm when your boss threw a last-minute project your way, or you didn’t yell when your kids spilled juice on the couch.

Why it works: We tend to focus on what’s wrong, but this simple habit helps you build resilience by reminding you of what’s right—what you’ve already overcome. It’s about recognizing your strength, even on the toughest days.

3. The ‘No More Than 2’ Rule

Here’s a rule I’ve followed for years, and it’s saved me more times than I can count: Never take on more than two high-stakes things at once. Ever.

What I mean by “high-stakes” are things that require a lot of emotional or mental bandwidth. This could be work deadlines, family crises, or big personal projects. Sure, life happens and sometimes things pile up, but if you find yourself managing more than two significant stressors at once, something has to give. This is how burnout sneaks in.

Action Step: Take a look at what’s on your plate right now. Are you juggling too much? If you are, decide what can be postponed or delegated. This isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that you’re building the resilience to manage what really matters.

4. The “3-Day Power Pause”

We’ve all been there—when you’re so close to making a big decision that you can’t think straight. My trick? Give yourself three days to pause. When a decision feels overwhelming, commit to not making it for 72 hours.

During this time, focus on input, not output. Journal, meditate, talk it over with a friend. By slowing down and giving yourself space, you build mental resilience and give yourself the chance to make decisions from a place of calm clarity.

Why it works: When you pause, your brain has a chance to process the emotions that might be clouding your judgment. And by allowing yourself this break, you’ll find that decisions become clearer, more aligned, and less stressful.

5. It's OK To Break Some Rules

Here’s something I haven’t seen many coaches talk about: It’s okay to break some rules. Not the moral or ethical ones, but the self-imposed ones you’ve set up about how things “should” be.

When life feels overwhelming, ask yourself: “What rule am I following right now that I don’t actually need?” Maybe it’s the idea that you have to work 10-hour days to succeed, or that you should always say yes to your family’s requests. Give yourself permission to rebel.

Action Step: Pick one “rule” you’ve been following that isn’t serving you and break it. See how it feels. You’ll find that by letting go of rigid expectations, you’re building the flexibility and resilience to navigate life on your terms.

Final Thoughts: You Can Be the Creator of Your Life

Let’s get real: life is messy. It’s full of ups and downs, and nobody has all the answers. But here’s what I know for sure: you have everything you need inside you to create a life where you thrive at work, at home, and in your soul. You’re capable of having it all—not because of your worth, but because of the power you hold within.

And that’s what being the creator of your life is all about. Are you ready?

​